Can You Say Whiskey Tango?

Living Large

One recent weekend my husband and I spent one day skiing and the second day plumbing. I had never installed a toilet before, but it turned out to be quite a straight-forward task—particularly since the toilet kit came complete with all the necessary tools. Here’s what you do: Shut off water, unscrew bolts holding down the old toilet, remove toilet. Obsessively clean behind-the-toilet dust and scum, apply “wax ring” to underbelly of toilet, and bolt new toilet to floor. Bolt on toilet bowl, attach water supply, and turn on water. And, then…lunge to turn off squirting water valve! Dash out to buy replacement water line, install and Voila!—a snazzy, new toilet that uses 1.23 gallons per flush. Compared to our old, water-guzzling, 1980s vintage toilet—which rang in at 2.9 gallons per flush—this was a great improvement. I calculated that we’d likely save 150 gallons of water per month or nearly 1,800 gallons each year. Who needs a plumber?

Near the end of this process, I spied my husband heading towards the back door, toilet in arms. I just shook my head. Now we are really living the dream: We have a toilet sitting on our back porch.

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